I found this book yesterday. It was in a box on the high table
in our big corridor at YWAM Boston base. The box had a note "for anyone who claims". There
were different things, like creams, tooth paste, some photo book, and
this book. It says "Grace" on the title. And subtitle is "For those who
think they don't measure up". I took a few things, I also took
that book.
For a few years I've been curious about grace. I don't remember when it had started and how, but I remember reading "What's so amazing about grace?" as my steps towards discovering this thing, grace.
So I took this book and squeeze it in between my many books I already have. I left it there for a day and tonight I read first chapter of it. It took me not much time, it felt like that. The author writes in such an easy, conversational manner, I almost talk the same way that he writes.
And the message of the first chapter is about all of us not deserving nothing and anything at all but we still get something good.
Before starting this book I felt a flow of irony and numbness in my mind and heart. I prayed for God to help me stop complain and be grumpy inside all the time, that I am tired to be that way for a year already. I knew myself differently before November last year. I want to rebuild myself.
So I prayed in expectation.
With all the traveling that is coming up in just 7 days I already feel sad leaving Ukraine not even being there yet. I know it will be quick. And I don't want to miss anything and anyone. I want this time to be tremendous and awesome. Heavy with sweet memories and amazing fellowship and experiences.
It makes me feel all sorts of stuff. I have mixed feelings going to visit home. That's right, visit. Not go back, as I always did. Now my home feels so distant. And so do the people I grew up with in all sorts of meaning. I also feel pressed down by not knowing what next year would look like.
And still, I am just here and in this day. Still having this day needs. And prayers. Yet hopes.
I want to experience grace. I want to radiate it. I want to be that person whose heart is all about grace. Grace as He taught us. As He showed us. He was so attractive to people who clearly in our opinion doesn't deserve grace. I want to drop this nagging prideful attitude towards whoever: Christian friend, a guy that smokes by a store, my fellow missionaries, a lady that is largely overweight, roommates, pastor, parents, my ex friends.. I want grace. For all. And for me on the first place.
For a few years I've been curious about grace. I don't remember when it had started and how, but I remember reading "What's so amazing about grace?" as my steps towards discovering this thing, grace.
So I took this book and squeeze it in between my many books I already have. I left it there for a day and tonight I read first chapter of it. It took me not much time, it felt like that. The author writes in such an easy, conversational manner, I almost talk the same way that he writes.
And the message of the first chapter is about all of us not deserving nothing and anything at all but we still get something good.
Before starting this book I felt a flow of irony and numbness in my mind and heart. I prayed for God to help me stop complain and be grumpy inside all the time, that I am tired to be that way for a year already. I knew myself differently before November last year. I want to rebuild myself.
So I prayed in expectation.
With all the traveling that is coming up in just 7 days I already feel sad leaving Ukraine not even being there yet. I know it will be quick. And I don't want to miss anything and anyone. I want this time to be tremendous and awesome. Heavy with sweet memories and amazing fellowship and experiences.
It makes me feel all sorts of stuff. I have mixed feelings going to visit home. That's right, visit. Not go back, as I always did. Now my home feels so distant. And so do the people I grew up with in all sorts of meaning. I also feel pressed down by not knowing what next year would look like.
And still, I am just here and in this day. Still having this day needs. And prayers. Yet hopes.
I want to experience grace. I want to radiate it. I want to be that person whose heart is all about grace. Grace as He taught us. As He showed us. He was so attractive to people who clearly in our opinion doesn't deserve grace. I want to drop this nagging prideful attitude towards whoever: Christian friend, a guy that smokes by a store, my fellow missionaries, a lady that is largely overweight, roommates, pastor, parents, my ex friends.. I want grace. For all. And for me on the first place.
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