Amen.
So, since this is my blog, my property, I've got to be freely honest. And because I want to be honest.
I live in the US. The place that is very different to what I got used to, it is so various and big, and yeah.. I am glad to be here. I, definitely am.
Now, to avoid an "earning points" article, I must say that I currently am not on any of the ministries at the base, but, I am being blessed by the time when I can find myself out, what fits my gifts the best, rather than just do because of a "do".
People on the team are very hospitable. And it's not because before I came they've prepared a year supply of peanut butter for me, but because they daily were and are investing in my personality.
In fact, many people here were praying and believing God, were putting their efforts together. Ta daaaa!
There's one girl who's on DTS, and few weeks before I came, God put on her heart to pray for Ukraine. Such a random thing. It made sense for her when I arrived. And stories may go on...
I as well have a big switch to the money difference. Good food costs more than junk, public transport is for cost of a taxi ride back home, staff fee is bigger in 30 times comparing to what I had with YWAM Vinnytsia. Taxes! A new thing for me as well. Ogh. As well being a non-resident puts more pressure on me to be on-time and dollarr-to-dollar for payments so the government can be ok with me being here.
I saw how God was providing for me before, I am sure I am going to experience it now and on.
This move is a bigger step of faith, and therefore there going to be bigger miracles.
Speaking about that picture of a bank receipt above, ...I was shoked when I saw that. I didn't believe. I checked it again. Said the same thing. I just couldn't put this into my head. So... turned out, that amount is not in dollars, but uah, my currency, and that was the money I saved and brought with me to pay off the fees and have peace with that at least for a month-two. But. I like how it looks like, I stick it to my mirror, and now it is my faith receipt, that someday will actually mean, that the amount is in dollars, with that sum. Amen.
You know how it's not peaceful to be a foreigner? And to be so far from home, and be on depend of God and be not sure whom to ask for support and be thinking of "I need to get that money by Monday" instead of "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." (Phlp. 4:8) And instead of "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them" (Eph. 2:10) be sitting and staring in a screen, trying to put all the words in a right order, make them sound lovely and holy, and influence people's minds with Godly things, when all I want is to be able to buy an organic bread and be not afraid of gaining a weight.
Am I honest enough? I am not trying to be mean though, not at all. It is, when you are sipping coffee with your friend, you can tell him inner stuff, even if they are rough to hear, but you trust them enough to feel safe to do that. That is what I am trying to do here now. Other posts I am going to make will have it's own different purpose and manner of speaking, this time - this way.
I do trust God, I thank Him for what I don't hold in my hands yet, but I know He will give it to me.
Cos He always does, and this time He will be working with me in a new ways, that I am excited for, I am excited to see how God is going to glorify Himself through this my current situation. Amen.
Are you with me?
It's few weeks later after I wrote this but left outside of my attention.
It's a month term that I am here.
I am embracing life, I am recognizing the fact that I live in Boston.
Now, to prove once again to myself that God is good (I hear the choir in my ears responding to me "All the time!") I will open up my wallet.
PS. is money that much scary and not comfortable thing to talk about, like, for example, sex?
Anyway, as I said, it's a month time that I am here...And I surely see God in providing funds for me.
Now, here is a quote "Provision is for once, promise is for forever".
To go somewhere, you surely will pack and will make sure you got the neccessary things. Now, as a missionary, you surely shouldn't go without God's word to you that you can then, later, usee as your safe belt, to remind yourself onc again why are you here, hold God up to His word to you when it's hard, kinda thing.
"There will be times for "Ah no worries friends, I got money" and for "Oh.. I eat ramen nudles like 3 days in a row already...".. Now, is God in every of those situations?
I thank God for my supporters even before I know they will be sending me money. I thank for people whom I have never saw or even knew before.
Big thing happened to me, according to the money topic,.. It just happened.
This Christmas I craved to be going to Colorado, I missed that place. Checking flight prices 5 days ago I was in ok mood to get that tickets, they were afordable. Then, when the time were cming closer to now, prices grew in 2 times more. Now I was not sure I am going to make it with my staff fee and be traveling... Tonight, God kinda said "If I want to do it, I will"
Have you read Job 38? You should, and right now. God is awesome there. He is so almighty, and sassy. Oh I like it!!! He is just....so attractive. So handsome and strong. Read it.
So tonight, I got in cash 400$.... Of course it's God, through people who are obedient. It is so beautiful. I believe I didn't look shocked or... amazingly happy. I didn't look like that, I felt to be frozen. I didn't know how to accept that ro show my appreciation of God in that moment. ... Sometimes I think I am so dry for emotions, sometimes I want to escape from my own emotions cos they are kust too much of them.
People.. God is providing.
My team here says to me "Please, don't rush to take any responsibility on yourself, your time for that will come later. Now, just embrace the life here. Meet people, get to know churches, find where is good lunch offer, bike up and down the hills. We want to take care of our new staff and prevent them from burning out from the day one. Do good one thing." (it sounds like that in my mind, it wasn't a literal quote)
And so by that, here I am thinking how to ask people to send me money, what FOR am I going to ask it?
And then I think, it's not the thing that makes me worthy of that 50$ once in awhile, but my identity, the person I am in God and what do we do together. If He says "rest" I will be resting, if He says "work" I will got myself up from bed to do that.
Now, What are this money are for? Of course, for missions, for peopel's salvation. Especially here, I heard and almost can feel it, Boston is so independent and locked in, they DO NEED JESUS. Even if I am looking out of the window and see the figure of the city and can hear it's whisper "We don't need you" it's a lie. It is a lie everywhere, Everywhere places need Jesus. And I am the first in the line to get Him, because I need Him, oh I need Him. I am fragile and so small... I like to be small to my God. "He is attracted to my weakness".
End.
https://www.facebook.com/KastandaUSA
http://ywamboston.org/
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